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Showing 161–176 of 1179 results

Every woman has a bit of Marilyn inside her. You just have to figure out if it’s Monroe or Manson.

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Everyone needs a friend that calls them out of the blue and says: “Get dressed, bitch. We’re going on an adventure.

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Everyone should have a sister like you. Why should I be the only one to suffer?

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Everyone was thinking it, I just said it.

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Everything in my neighborhood is closing so I’m about to open up a strip club/breakfast diner/daycare center. I’m calling it TITS, GRITS and WE BABYSITS.

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Everything is figureoutable.

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Everything will be fine in the end. If it’s not, it’s not the end.

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Everytime I see a mattress on top of a car I think the prostitues are doing Door Dash now.

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Exercise gives you energy, but you need energy to exercise. Sounds like a pyramid scheme to me.

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Exercise. . . I thought you said Accessorize!

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Exercising would be so much more rewarding if calories screamed while you burned them.

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Facebook needs a ‘Political Post’ button. That will help most people remain friends when the election is over.

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Fall means the end of flip-flop season. It’s time to put on a bra.

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Fast food places should have a third window so you can trade in the wrong stuff they gave you at the second window.

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Feeling kinda IDGAF-ish today.

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Fifty shades of dark circles under my eyes

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