Humor BEST SELLER
Showing 273–288 of 1179 results
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I ate a box of Thin Mints. I did NOT get any thinner.
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I belong to the Secret Society of Sisters who kill spiders with hairspray.
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I bet the reason it’s called “Almond Milk” is because no one could ever say “Nut Juice” and keep a straight face.
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I bought a dozen doughnuts and ate 11 of them, so I know a thing or two about healthy eating decisions.
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I burn about 2000 calories every time I put on fitted sheets by myself.
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I came, I saw, I forgot what I was doing, retraced me steps, got lost on the way back?
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I came. I mowed. I kicked grass.
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I can rise and shine. Just not at the same time.
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I can’t wait until I’m old enough to pretend I can’t hear.
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I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life?
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I can’t tell if its killin me or making me stronger.
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I cannot brain today. I has the dumb.
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I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. Now people move out of the way much faster.
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I choked on a carrot this afternoon and all I could think was “I bet a donut woud’nt do this to me.
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I cooked for dudes I should have poisoned.
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I could be skinny. Or, I could eat this chocolate chip cookie. It’s pretty clear how this will end up.
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