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I don’t usually brag about going to expensive places, but I just left the gas station.

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I don’t wanna party like it’s 1999. I want to go grocery shopping like it’s 1999.

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I don’t want buns of steel as much as I want buns of cinnamon.

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I don’t want to go back to work.

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I don’tfeel like folding the laundry. So I just restart the dryer.

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I don’t always diet and exercise. But when I do, I expect the results to be dramatic and spectacular!

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I don’t always go the extra mile, but when I do, it is because I missed my exit.

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I don’t always roll a joint, but when I do, it’s ususally my ankle.

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I don’t judge people by the color of their skin, I judge them by the color of their teeth!

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I don’t like pantyhose. Every time I pass alittle gas, I blow my slippers off!

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I don’t like to brag, but today I washed and dried a load of clothes on the same day without forgetting I had stuff in the wash.It’s like I’m some kind of domestic ninja.

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I don’t like to call it revenge? returning the favor sounds so much nicer.

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I don’t normally eat chocolate chip cookies. But when I do I eat a dozen.

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I don’t regret burning my bridges. I gret that some people weren’t on those bridges when I burnt them

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I don’t speak jealous, slut or revenge. I do speak Punch-A-Bitch Would you like a lesson?

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I don’t understand why so many of you are unhappy. They sell Vodka where you are, don’t they?

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