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Tomorrow you will receive a wonderful, unexpected blessing from the universe. Be ready for the sign and the manifestation.

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Tomorrow-A mythical place where I get all my stuff done.

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Too bad bitching doesn’t burn calories.

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Too old for Snapchat, Too young for Life Alert.

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Tough Titties.

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Travel plans this week?To the windooow?To the waaall?Then I might go down the haaall?

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Turns out you can buy a birthday cake anytime and eat it yourself. Nobody checks.

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Tweeter

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Twenty years ago, we have Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have no Hope, no Cash and no

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Twinkies and Ho-Ho’s are a thing of the past, but the world will always plenty of Ding-Dong’s.

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Twinkle Twinkle little snitch, mind your business you nosey bitch.

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Two little old ladies were attending a rather long church service. One leaned over and whispered,”My butt is going to sleep.” “I know,” replied her companion, “I heard it snore three times.

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Two things to make your day better: 1. Do not watch the news. 2. Stay off the bathroom scales.

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Two words for anyone who thinks cute shoes are a not important? Cinderella and Dorothy

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Up until now, I thought twerking was short for networking. Needless to say, todays business lunch was awkward.

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Walmart: You go in for milk and cookies and you come out questioning the fate of the human race.

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