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Flour Sack Towels
Flour Sack Towels
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You inspire me. To drink.
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You know dear, Karma’s only a bitch if you are.
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You know how a cat will come running at the sound of a can opener? We all have our triggers.
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You know how you can smack something to get it to work? I wish I could do that with people.
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You know it is rime for a pedicure when you exfoliate one foot with the other one.
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You know its going to be a great story when it starts of?"So this bitch?"
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You know that awkward moment when you think youre alone in a public resroom, about to poop, then someone walks in?
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You know that moment when you accept a compliment and then realize it wasnt meant for you?
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You know that thing inside that keeps you from saying stuff you probably shouldnt? Yeah, well mines broken.
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You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That’s your common sense leaving your body.
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You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? Thats your common sense leaving your body.
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You know when you by a bag of salad and it starts getting brown?
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You know you are getting old when you get butt jiggles when you brush your teeth.
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You know you said you couldn’t think of anything you wanted for Christmas? Well, neither could I.
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You know you’ve had too much to drink when you sit down on the toilet and try to put on your seat belt.
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You make me wish I had more middle fingers.
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