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Flour Sack Towels
Flour Sack Towels
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I feel a sin coming on.
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I feel like wine is the glue that holds my life together.
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I finally did it! Bought a new pair of shoes with memory foam insoles. No more forgetting why I walk
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I finally figured out my body type. Its hourglass with extra minutes.
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I find it helps to organize chores into catagories: Things I wont do now; Things I wont do later; Things Ill never do.
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I fniished your laundry. Your ashes are in the fireplace.
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I gave up a lot of things when I became a mother. The F Bomb wasnt one of them.
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I GO BOTH WAYS
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I got a butt dial from one of those new smartphones that bend when you sit on them. All I could hear was Siri screaming for mercy.
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I got gas today for $1.39. Unfortunately, it was at Taco bell!
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I got in touch with my inner self today. Thats the last time I buy cheap toilet paper.
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I got it from my mama.
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I got my boobs the old fashioned way. By getting fat.
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I got you this card because it matches your hair.
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I had cheese, but no crackers. I was crack-a-lackin.
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I had my patience tested. Im negative.
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