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Flour Sack Towels
Flour Sack Towels
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I heard the more colorful your salad is, the better it is for you. So I swapped my croutons for M&M
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I heard you were telling people that I think I’m better than you. YOU’RE RIGHT.
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I hope Karma slaps you in the face before I do!
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I hope the easter bunny brings me a basket full of wine.
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I hope your holiday breakdown is filled with joy.
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I identitify as a threat. My pronouns are try/me.
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I jus hate it when Walmart doesn’t have what I need and I have to go home, change out of my pajamas so I can go to Target.
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I just ate a snickers bar and Im still a bitch.
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I just came to your party to show off my LBD & drink your tequila.
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I just did a weeks worth of cardio after walking into a spider web.
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I just got pulled over by a cop. He asked me if I had a record. Apparently Roxanne was not answer he wanted to hear.
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I just got some juice out of the fridge, and I swear I heard the wine say, “What the Hell?
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I just met a girl scout with a credit card reader on her phone. Shit just got real.
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I just ordered a Life Alert bracelet so if I ever get a life, I’ll be notified immediately.
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I just realized that when someone in their 20’s talks about “Old People”, they are talking about us.
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I just rehearsed what I’m going to say at the drive-thru window five times.
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