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Flour Sack Towels
Flour Sack Towels
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I manage to get through the day without a single mustard or ketchup stain on my shirt. Here’s hoping you are crushing life as much as I am.
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I may be quarantined, but my boobs have never been freer.
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I may not be perfect, but at least Im not a Democrat.
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I may not be perfect, but at least Im not a Republican.
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I may noy be great at cooking and cleaning, but I can lounge by the pool sippin a cocktail like nobodys business.
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I may seem quiet and reserved. But if you mess with my dog, I will show you a levelof crazy that will make your worst nightmares seem like a walk in the park.
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I meant to behave, but there were too many other options.
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I miss the 90s when bread was still good for you and no one knew what kale was.
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I miss the days when we were all afraid of Romaine Lettuce.
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I must have a maternal instinct. I keep calling people mother this and mother that.
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I named my tv remote Waldo. You know why
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I need a glass of wine. Or a bottle. Or a winery. In Italy.
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I need a leaf blower. But for people.
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I need a little drinky drink.
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I need a Margarita the size of my Boobs
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I need my birthday suit taken in.
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