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Flour Sack Towels
Flour Sack Towels
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Ill be there in a prosecco.
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Im 99% angel. But, ohhhhhh that 1%.
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Im a haunt mess.
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Im a member of the Thanksgiving Eating Team.
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Im afraid I cant go. Ive already taken off my bra so Im in for the night.
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Im aging like a Fine wine? which is to say Im building up pressure and about to become uncorked.
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IM AMBIDEXTROUS. I CAN DRINK WITH BOTH HANDS.
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Im at the age where I can laugh, cough, sneeze and pee all at the same time.
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Im burning extra calories by gagging after every bite of kale.
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Im everything you dreamed of but with a belly.
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Im fat but I identify as skinny. Im trans-slender.
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Im feeling a bit overworked and under intoxicated.
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Im getting older and wider instead of older and wiser!
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Im glad I have boobs. The last thing I need is people making eye contact with me.
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Im going to hang a Batman outfit in my closet just to screw with myself when I get Alzheimers.
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Im going to have to stop you right there. That was more BS than I could handle.
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