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Flour Sack Towels
Flour Sack Towels
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Im stuck between I need to save money and You only live once.
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Im Stuffed.
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Im super lazy today. Its like normal lazy, but with a cape.
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Im the swearing elf. . .
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Im too old for this sheet.
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Im too old to drop it like it is hot. Im just gonna sit down like it is warm.
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Im trying very hard to get into the Christmas Spirit, but the damn cork wont come out.
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Im waiting for the great Pumpkin.
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Im way too sick for work. But should be fine for Happy Hour.
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Im well aware Im not everyones cup of tea? Id rather be someones shot of tequila.
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Ive always wanted to turn around in a big chair and say, "Ive been expecting you."
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Ive learned so much from my mistakes that Im thinking of making a few more!
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Ive lost two pounds. One from each boob.
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Ive named my dog “Five Miles” so I can tell people I walk 5 miles every day.
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Ive never been a millionaire, but I just know Id be darling at it!
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Ive wrapped the presents. Ive cooked the goose. Now its time for this bitch to let loose.
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