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Flour Sack Towels
Flour Sack Towels
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IDGAF
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If a cowboy is happy, does that make him a jolly rancher?
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If a glass of wine is good for you, imagine what a bottle could do!
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If a telemarketer calls, give the telephone to your 3 year old and tell her it is Santa.
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If at first you dont succeed, try doing it the way Mom told you to in the beginning.
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If booze can kill brain cells, why can’t it kill fat cells?
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If by free spirits, you mean an open bar, then yes, I love free spirits!
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If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fride. Calories are afraid of heights and they will jump out to protect themselves.
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If Facebook has taught us anything, its that a lot of you are not quite ready for a spelling bee.
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If God can make a bugs butt light up, think of what He can do for you.
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If her bra matches her panties when you take off her clothes, then it was not you who decided to have sex.
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If I blocked you on social media and you see me on the street, you do realize the block still applies in real life, don’t you?
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If I damned if I do and damned if I don’t, then Dammit, I’m going to do it!
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If I did one of those wine and paint nights the instructor would be like, “WOW, Look at you? You are really good at wine.
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If I drink too much alcohol, I am an alchoholic. But, If I drink too much Fanta, Does that make me Fantastic?
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If I had a baby dragon, it would sit on my shoulder all day and shoot flames at people we dont like
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