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Flour Sack Towels
Flour Sack Towels
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My idea of a diet is blowing the sugar off a doughnut.
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My idea of juicing is squeezing a lime into my margarita.
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My itsy-bitsy paycheck just posted to my account. Down came the bills and wiped my money out.
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My kid talks a lot of smck for someone whose only source of income is the tooth fairy.
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My kids are always accusing me of having a favorite child, which is ridiculous because I dont like any of them.
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My lack of dusting skills will finally pay off this Halloween!
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My life coach is a bottle of wine.
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My life is just a series of awkward and humiliating moments separated by snacks.
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My life status: Currently holding it all together with one bobby pin.
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My liquid diet is going fabulously. After 4 glasses of wine I no longer care about how fat I am.
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My low wine light is blinking.
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My mama don’t like you and she likes everyone.
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My middle finger salutes you.
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My Mom asked me what I was doing for Easter. I said same as Jesus, going out Friday coming back Monday.
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My mom didn’t raise no dummy, and if she did it was my sister.
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My moods sont just swing?they bounce, pivot, recoil, rebound, scillate, fluctuate and occasionally pirouette
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