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All Occasion
All Occasion
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After this, Hell should be easy.
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As my new neighbor, sooner or later you’re going to see me chasing a dog in my underwear. Welcome to the neighborhood.
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Bad choices make good stories
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DON’T
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Every time a man does a woman wrong. God pushes his hairline back an inch.
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FLOWER CARD
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happy dance
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HOLY SHIT we are still married.
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How You Doin?
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I always knew we’d get old. How fast it happened was a bit of a surprise, though.
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I couldn’t have asked for a better sister. Believe me, I tried.
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I knew we’d be friends forever the moment I discovered that you also have no filter for your wicked and sarcastic thoughts.
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I love you more than fries. That’s some serious love.
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I tried. You didn’t. I’m done. Have fun.
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I understand being a responsible adult. But every day. Every single day. That seems a little much.
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I. AM. SCREAMING.
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