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napkins
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Sometimes when my underwear matches my outfit, it makes me feel like I really have my life together.
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Sometimes, when the water is quiet?you can almost hear the fish laughing at you.
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Son of a Witch!
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South Carolina Spooky Palm
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Spooky Margaritas
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Spookytini!
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Stop saying you dont know what to get me for Valentines Day. You know where the liquor store is dont you?
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Thankgiving dinner take 18 Hours to prepare. They are consumed in 12 minutes. Half-times take 12 Minutes This is not a coincidence.
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THANKSGIVING IS NOT A GOOD DAY TO BE IN MY PANTS!
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Thanksgiving: Bringing out the best in family dysfunction since 1863.
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The end of the world would be an improvement over my current life situation.
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The trouble with trouble, is that it always starts out with fun.
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This Christmas, I have decided to put mistletoe in my back pocket, so all the people I dont like can kiss my ass!
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This Thanksgiving, I hope you are able to avoid the tragedyof the different foods on your plate touching one another.
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Three wise women would have asked directions, arrived on time,helped deliver the baby and cleaned the stables,made a casserole, brought practical gifts and there would be peace on earth.
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Today is a day to celebrate! Its National Siblings Day. You are so lucky to have me as a sister,
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