Humor BEST SELLER
Showing 417–432 of 1179 results
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I never dreamed I’d grow up to be an asshole, but here I am killin’ it.
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I never thought I would be the type of person to get up ealy in the morni ng to exercise. I was righ
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I never use my turn signal. It’s nobody’s business where I’m going.
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I officially resign from adulthood, Decisions will be made using the eenie meenie miney moe ethod and arguments will be settled by sticking out my tonque.
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I only have one thing to say to those airport security people?Touch my junk and win a free flight across the terminal.
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I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I’ll let you know.
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I picked up a hitchhiker last night. Surprised, he asked, “Why did you pick me up?How do you know I’m not a serial killer?
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I pray for you because I don’t know how to do an exprcism.
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I realize I need to lose weight, but I also remembered I have Oreos in my pantry.
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I remember being able to get up without making sound effects. Good times.
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I revealed too much, too soon. I was emotionally slutty?
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I revel in my abandon. Tom Petty said I could.
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I saw a guy a Starbucks today. No iPhone, no tablet, no laptop. He just sat there. Drinking coffee. Like a psychopath.
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I saw a store that has a sign that reads “We treat you like family.” Yep, NOT going in there.
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I see London. I see France. I see leggings trying to be pants!
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I should be ashamed of my behavior. I’m not. But I should be.
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